A serious ramble of an unsettled mind……
Throughout the years, my form of expression has continued to evolve; once it was drawing followed by blogging that turned into poems that were filled w/stories that changed back into words that became written and sometimes spoken. As w /my forms of expression, I too have changed/evolved over the many years. I have experienced life more in the past 6 yrs than I had my whole life.
My age climbs to 41 and the realization of how little I truly know makes more sense to me now. I, like many others, have had a less than rosy upbringing. I believe the phrase “dysfunctional family” was coined in the 70’s. If not, it should have been! My father succeeded in providing for his family. There is always a positive line to every squiggle. I do not like to delve into my ’childhood past’ so much. The nightmares are enough.
I digress; my point was to clearly say that I have been there and not quite back, yet. I have learned enough to know that I truly know nothing. What I do know is that….I have struggled my whole life w/manic depression. As far back as I can recall; I have never felt “right.” Never have I felt to truly belong. With the extremely low self-esteem, I made some bad choices on whom to keep in my life and who to further limit my time around. It took me 30 yrs to figure out that I would need to eliminate some people from my “circle” in order to grow in a direction that is conducive to a more positive life style. It is a ‘dog eat dog
world’ and that’s why it is that much more important to surround yourself with people that you love & return the love. This is an ice-cold society but is slowly becoming more aware.
I do not carry many wishes or dreams. I only carry valid hope (which requires no validation) to situations that hold dear to my heart and their convictions. Some can mistake me for being weak but I like to consider myself a little hypersensitive to that which is around me vs. that which is at the end of my nose. With that being said; superficial, as you can tell, has no place in my life. I do not have a sad life having few dreams or wishes….I am realistic with my disorders and my life.
In closing, I’d like to share one of my true wishes, which would be to reach into your soul and let you experience what it is I see through these eyes of mine, feel a little of what this heart encounters, as well as the twists & turns of this mind. I am not anyone special or, even for that matter; unique…I am an individual willing to share what it is I “keep.”
Merry Monday to you~~
Thank you for reading this ramble of mine….I do this occasionally 😉
I, Rose, Amongst thorns 