Combobulation

I’ve felt many things in my day
I’ve struggled w/depression
I’ve met my match w/mania

I have felt to throw in my cards
Folding before too much is lost
Dealt w/too much; a lot

Quandaries to pester my mind
Thoughts & visions not so sublime
Wanting a reprieve from this time line

Confusion to unsettle the mind
Wondering just what’s left behind
The drama’s and tortures; confined

Breaking through the past
Settling what wasn’t meant to last
A history to now stand the outcast

Wickedness to grab their souls
The end comes ever so dear
Unresolved history in arrears

I will have no remorse
My tears will not flow
My love for you didn’t grow

The pains of a mind
The disdain of time
The tortures always rewind

Inside your crimes
The times you beat me
The times you’d eat me

Broken became my spirit
Jesus was not to answer my prayers
Cops could only, sadly, stare

This young child
I see her often
Alone and scared

This is what you’ve done
My psyche to split
My only defense against the bullshit

Into my mind I crept further
Into my heart grew such a blackness
Into my soul she silently wept

Splitting apart in the late of night
When cologne was placed just right
Awaken my body; I squeezing eyes tight

Transporting to a place of no sight
Sounds and smells void all around
Left to tend to my wounds was my plight

An evil wicked delight
Punishing a young child w/fright
To threaten their young life

I feel the torture you’ve caused
I feel the pain of so many wrongs
I tried & sobbed but no one came along

Crashing in like waves
Leaving me in a complete daze
Wishing upon stars that I’d always gaze

This child of mine
Tears dried at last
Her torturer behind; in her past

Slowly growing into her womanhood
Slowly learn what is love, as she should
Slowly learning it too is real as just that

A sadden child, tried for years to hide
Happiness to her was foreign
Sadness & misery just kept on flowing

It is time to stand her ground
No longer hiding behind a shroud
It’s time for her to no longer bow

She never thought she’d find herself
Alas, it became so true & so profound
Loving yourself maybe w/a little help

As of today, tears silenced
Fears put out to bay
Leaving her satisfied in every way
Blessed to be breathing another day…..
WHOLE